Why should you provoke others, and how can doing so potentially save you years—or even your life?
“Don’t provoke me, or else…” Have you ever heard these words from your parents, boss, or partner? What goes through your mind when you hear them? Instinctively, you might feel the urge to stop whatever you’re doing to avoid stirring up trouble. But have you ever considered that this phrase itself is a red flag, one that should be recognized immediately to prevent potential issues?
Can You Provoke Jesus?
First, let’s delve into the kind of people who can be getting triggered to do bad or even terrible things. Is it possible to provoke someone into doing something that isn’t already part of their character? For instance, could a genuinely kind and sincere person ever be provoked into committing murder?
Could you provoke Jesus or Buddha? And what about you—could someone provoke you into wrongdoing? So, who is truly susceptible to getting triggered into committing acts like murder, theft, or other horrors? The extent to which one can be provoked often reflects the unresolved pain and unspoken emotions within them.
I once heard a father, who was a pedophile, claim that his daughter “provoked” him. I’ve also heard similar statements from men who beat their wives, saying, “She made me do it.” Murderers, too, will often claim, “I didn’t want to kill, but I was getting triggered.” It’s all too easy to find examples like these, but here’s the point: in a staggering majority of horrific cases, we hear the excuse, “I was provoked.”
This phrase serves as a convenient way for people to shift blame and instill guilt in their victims. Such individuals are unwilling to take responsibility for their actions, as acknowledging that their dark thoughts existed long before they were “provoked” would be too uncomfortable.
So, don’t blame yourself for the erratic behavior of those around you. Instead, learn to recognize red flags and remove yourself from the situation.
How to Spot a Red Flag
Here’s an important nuance: people with deep-seated trauma or psychological issues are often impossible to identify (unless you’re a professional) until they let their guard down. It’s frequently only in unexpected situations that they reveal their true nature. In such moments, they don’t have the opportunity to put on their usual masks, allowing their true self to emerge.
This is why the best time to test someone’s character is at the very beginning of your relationship, when there are no commitments. During this phase, people are eager to make a good impression and will pretend to be their best selves. This is precisely when you should ask uncomfortable questions to gauge their reactions and see their true colors.
They say topics like politics, religion, and gender relations are off-limits. I disagree. If you want to identify a fool quickly, dive right into these subjects or other topics which are important for you.Why waste precious time only to eventually reach the same conclusions?
Many people are so desperate to seem agreeable that they shy away from delicate topics. But do you really need to be on your best behavior for someone who may not be compatible? What’s more important to you: appearing good in their eyes, or potentially saving yourself from trouble?
Don’t Fear Conflict or Provocation
When I applied for a job at a highly reputable company, the recruiters immediately began to provoke me, putting me in uncomfortable situations. They didn’t hesitate to ask about my sexual relationships, my views on political issues, and my opinions on feminism, Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism. They looked directly into my eyes, observing every reaction, testing how openly I would respond and whether I would express my true thoughts rather than relying on rehearsed clichés.
After I started working there, I became friends with those recruiters, who shared that provocation was a crucial part of their hiring process. They explained that before they joined, the company was filled with typical office clerks—people who thrived on gossip, held grudges, feared the boss, and acted predictably. While such behavior might suffice for an average company, it’s inadequate for one aiming to innovate. Through this approach, they screened out thousands of candidates, ultimately hiring only the honest ones.
This is exactly how it should be in your life. If you aspire to an extraordinary life, you need to cultivate an extraordinary circle of people around you. But to do this, you must be strict and unafraid of offending others. After all, those who react emotionally to certain topics and are “provoked” into erratic behavior aren’t the people you want by your side. With a mentally stable person, there’s no need to tiptoe around subjects or find roundabout ways to say what you really think.
Embrace directness and observe how it transforms your life for the better.
