Happy healthy relationship is a partnership of equals, built on unconditional love helping both to grow by 1000%. Unfortunately, only a very small percentage of people in this world have the opportunity to build such a relationship.
We often see that people play out different roles in relationships. Some play the victim, some the tyrant, some act like a parent taking care of their child. All the problems we see in relationships stem from the fact that partners (subjectively) are not equal. Love is impossible between unequal beings, just as a wolf cannot love a sheep: they are too fundamentally different.The wolf… will devour the sheep.
Define which category your relationship falls into
1. You attract people who are, in your opinion, below you in level (less attractive, intelligent, wealthy, or successful).
You convince yourself that you enjoy teaching your partner something, helping them become better. But in reality, you’re playing a game where you fulfil the role of a parent, rescuer, and sometimes even a god. All this is to feel significant and important in comparison to the other person.
In the relationship, you allow yourself more than your beloved one does, depending on the strength of this complex and your ego. Sometimes, such people overstep boundaries. This type of dynamic reflects a power imbalance and there’s no talk of love here (although of course the predator loves devouring its prey).
2. You attract partners who are subjectively above you in level (more successful, intelligent, etc.).
You tell yourself that you like learning from the other person, being inspired by them, and growing faster. But in reality, this is a subconscious complex of a child seeking a parent, rescuer, god, or tyrant. You are a sheep that has fallen into the hands of a wolf. Depending on the strength of this complex, you might end up in a parent-child relationship or even an abusive one, becoming the victim of a person from point 1.
These two types of people will always build relationships with each other and never with someone from category 3 (because it would be boring for them in a healthy relationship). The first two options are signs of low self-esteem, insecurity, and lack of self-love. If you can’t love yourself, how can you love another person?
3. You are equals in everything. You are partners in life, in family, in business.
You are happy alone and happy together. No one relies on the other to carry them; both contribute equally (each in their own way and to the best of their abilities). Neither person is allowed to do things that the other isn’t. One is stronger in some areas, weaker in others, and the other is the opposite. You complement each other equally, creating balance in everything. In such a relationship, communication and respect are key.
So what is the right model of a happy healthy relationship?
The third option describes a healthy relationship, because only when we are equal, we grow and become happy (but grow not at the expense of the other person, using them as a teacher; here, growth happens organically for both). To attract an equal partner into your life, we must first confront our own flaws honestly and fully accept them within ourselves—only then can we accept them in others around us.
Stop searching for your ideal and trying to be perfect in the eyes of others. We are real, living beings with flaws, and only those who are honest with themselves are capable of sincere and unconditional love in a relationship.
And when we find stability within ourselves, when we truly love ourselves as we are, we will realise that we don’t need anyone and that we are already happy — only then there will be a chance for a healthy, conscious relationship. Because in that moment, we will stop seeking a person to fulfil something and will simply and sincerely enjoy the presence of another person in our life.”
Share in the comments: What result did you get from the test? What do you think about it?
